After leaving work uptown last Friday, I ran into a 15 year old teen by the name of Isaiah, who wanted to use my cell phone. Now my iPhone has had a lot of issues since I dropped it and cracked the screen, so needless to say, it decided that it did not want to work on that day. Isaiah explained to me that he had just relocated from NYC, but his mother had kicked him out the house and was sending him back to NYC.
The young lad failed to inform me that he had been cursing at his mother and punching holes into the doors of the house. What was supposed to have been a 1 minute phone call, ended up being a 7 hour long conversation between the two of us. A couple days passed and he attended to the X Factor audition with myself and one of the youth from my church. Isaiah has not had many positive male role models in life, so he had a lot of questions as to why I did or did not do certain things. After the audition, he met my parents and my mother was able to share her experiences with raising 4 teens. I have decided to mentor him and show him various ways in which he can deal with his anger.
TIPS:
#1- in a yelling match, neither party is listening. It's best to stop talking and resolve the conflict when both parties are more calm
#2- walk away from conflict. If you have to go into the bedroom and put on your head phones, do so! Relaxation music is therapeutic.
#2- walk away from conflict. If you have to go into the bedroom and put on your head phones, do so! Relaxation music is therapeutic.
#3- find out where the root of the problem lies. The negative behavior is just a symptom, but our goal is to find the remedy to the cause of the symptom
Often times, parents feel as though the burden of facing teen challenges is theirs alone to bare. The reality is that "it takes a village to raise a child." Multiple stories can shed light, showing a teenager that good parental advice is profitable and best to follow. Also, having a mentor that is within 10 year age range seems to be beneficial as well. Most of my mentee's look at me as their peer, but with just more wisdom. A parent is viewed as an "old person" who cannot relate to today's temptations.
Often times, parents feel as though the burden of facing teen challenges is theirs alone to bare. The reality is that "it takes a village to raise a child." Multiple stories can shed light, showing a teenager that good parental advice is profitable and best to follow. Also, having a mentor that is within 10 year age range seems to be beneficial as well. Most of my mentee's look at me as their peer, but with just more wisdom. A parent is viewed as an "old person" who cannot relate to today's temptations.
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